Your life isn't better than mine. Here's why.

Don't take it personally. It’s just a matter of fact. Sorry, not sorry.

I’m a successful mother fucker.

Not because I have millions in the bank (I don’t) and not because I’ve built some ridiculous empire (I haven’t).

It's because I’m constantly in pursuit of something. A better body, optimal health, and time/financial freedom. I’m designing a lifestyle that looks great online. But there is a lot of shit that goes along with it.

Earl Nightingale said,

Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.

That means moving forward toward something no matter what. You can (and should) listen to his audio clip “The Strangest Secret” here.

Most people that appear online to have an amazing life and everything all figured out really don’t but, they are in pursuit of something. Here we sit scroll after scroll - “I wish… I had, I did, I could, I got.” Whatever the hell it is, you’re thinking/stating it. What you should really be saying is “I… can, am, will, because what we see online is just a load of bull.

You see, the internet is just a filter for ‘success’ and ‘happiness.’

A pretty shitty one at that. You get that by now.

  • That healthy meal they just took a picture of tastes like shit. We all know they’d rather be eating pizza.
  • Their workout… Let’s be honest, probably sucked.
  • The great job they have, right about now they are probably wishing they had a different one.

Ask every person in the gym and it is likely that over 50% of the people there don’t actually want to be. But they are. They are there doing what needs to be done so they can achieve what they really want. They are just putting on a façade to trick themselves into feeling better about the situation. Because that is what they see online and believe they should be feeling.

A common misconception in my house is that I love going to the gym. FALSE. I dislike it very much. That is an hour (minimum) out of my day where there are plenty of things I’d rather be doing.  BUT... I've made longevity, health, and physique a priority of mine. And frankly, I suck at it. Sure, there are days when I can feel excitement and joy about being at the gym. Some days I’m in a 'zone' of sorts where it actually feels good. Most days though, that is not the case. I want my future to be long and limber. I want to be running laps with my great-grandchildren in the back yard so I try hard to do today the things that I need to so I’m not decrepit by 85. After all, what is all this worth if I won't be around that long or mobile enough to enjoy what I've worked so hard for.

The same is true about blog posts, podcast episodes, and geeking out writing a little code now and again. I’ll never stop doing some form of those things (skill stacking) but I’d like some day for that to be what I start doing at 8 in the morning instead of needing something else to pay the bills. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my job very much, I have great flexibility and get compensated fairly well, but I feel as though I’m called to do something bigger. Something different.

Sure. I'm guilty of trying to trick myself into making it all seem better than it really is and share some positive spin online but this shit is hard. It becomes even harder when NOTHING, not a damn thing, posted online seems to be about the journey and how difficult it is.

So here is the special sauce.

All of those bullshit posts you see, stories you read, and lifestyles you envy – it’s just about building systems and sticking to them. Most all of the highest performers in the world have bad days at the gym or don’t want to be there. That physique model in your Instagram feed just ‘cheated’ with a greasy burger AND a bun. Some of the perceived most successful people who seem to have the most amazing jobs do things they hate doing EVERY SINGLE DAY. Even if someone owns their own business and sets their own schedule, there are tasks they do that they wish they didn’t have to do. That’s the sauce right there. That’s their edge. That’s why they aren’t sharing it.

Do you think that I enjoy getting up between 4 and 5 am to go to the gym, record a podcast, or write a blog post? HELL NO! I would rather sleep until after 6, get up and enjoy some breakfast, read, drink coffee, and then start my day at 8. No matter how much I enjoy my job there are still parts of it I hate doing but are necessary for the role, growing personally and building experience that I can use later. ‘Skill Stacking or Talent Stacking” as Scott Adams calls it in his book. That extra 2 hours in the morning where I do something I don’t want to do (at least for the time being) is for the bigger picture. That special sauce.

Stop looking at all the bullshit that is posted online and realize that no one has it better than you. Stop thumbing through every feed and start doing the work now that will put you in a better place tomorrow. Start doing something that you hate or makes you uncomfortable. Stretch yourself a little bit each day. As much as it sucks for me, that probably means stop wasting time reading my shitty posts. Unless of course, you hate reading them – then touché.

Do something every day, share it online, tell everyone how fantastic it is, lie or tell the truth, but do me a favor, remember that we are all in the same shit. No one became an overnight success. They’ve been in it and probably still are. They just aren’t sharing their special sauce.

What is your special sauce? Are you up at 3 AM meditating before your workout? Are you up until 3 AM working on your side gig/hustle/hobby/passion?

Let me know.

Let the world know.


Ross Wickman

Comrade Technology, Sioux Falls, USA

Husband, Father, and owner @ComradeTech. I help people better understand technology on the . Not to mention a